times are a'changing.

I wonder sometimes why I don't blog as much as I'd like. Or why can't I blog more often when I know I can do it. I did finish my 101 in 1001 task of blogging everyday for an entire month. Then I remember how hard it is to simply sit down and do it. Take last night for example - I got L-bug to bed, I picked up the obvious messes in the living room/kitchen areas, grabbed a notebook and a glass of tea and was all ready to type a post out. Blogger's broken. Really? You couldn't break on the hundreds of other nights where I don't find the time to sit down? So, I open up a word document and the computer bings - you have 7 minutes to juice up the battery or I'm dying on you. And, it's always more like 2 or 3 minutes. After all that - sometimes I feel like giving up. I love blogging and I hate to think of it as a hassle but sometimes? It is!

Anyways, now that my little rant is out - here's the blog post I was brewing in my head all yesterday.

My little girl isn't so little anymore. Cliche, right? But for real, it hit me like a billion times yesterday. She's not a baby. She's a full-blown toddler almost half way to turning 2. How did this happen? I thought people were lying when they said time flies. The tantrums and bad days may feel like they last forever but in the grand scheme of things - time flies.

It seems she's been growing at an even faster rate these pase few months. She is learning so much, copying others and babbling all the time. I usually look at her like she's a baby but then she'll do something or react to something I do and I'm thinking oh sh*t, she's a real kid now. Like the other day, I left her in the car while M and I ran into my sister's house to grab something. We were gone maybe 2 minutes and when we got back, she looked totally bewildered with tears streaming down her face. My heart broke into a million pieces. I had scared her. I had worried her. What a crap move I had just made! Or a few days ago, when my brother-in-law was babysitting L. She had pooped in her diaper so she went to "tell" him, aka tap him & babble and pull on her diaper, then she grabbed his hand and led him to where the diapers where. Uh, smart much? Then, a day or two ago, she was hanging out in my mom's room and she grabbed my mom's hand, pulled her to the bathroom and motioned for the toilet and actually sat on the big toilet! I don't think she comprehends when she *has* to go, but sister knows where to go at. It's exciting but so scary too. How did my wee little babe get here? Wasn't it just yesterday I was screaming at doctors to cut her out of me? Wasn't it just hours ago I was feeding her from a teeny tiny bottle where an ounce would fill up her little belly?

Wait, it wasn't? It was 16 months ago?? Can't I go back to the past for just a few minutes? I just want to soak up her chubby cheeks and sweet smile. I want a few moments of cuddling a newborn and teaching a 4 month old how to eat cereal. I was looking at a picture of L-bug on the fridge yesterday - it was when she was 10 months old - and I can't remember it. I remember the day, the moment, everything perfectly. But I can't remember how to take care of a 10 month old. My brain is on todder-mode right now and I miss the old days.

Don't get me wrong, I love where we are now too. We're starting the potty training stage. Nothing indepth, just sitting her on a training potty and telling her that's where we go pee at. We bought her a big girl toothbrush and showed her how to brush her teeth. She got the hang of it real quick and her smile of accomplishment just melted my heart.

She's a thrill-seeker, through and through. The girl loves her slides and she doesn't just go for the toddler slides at the park. No, she's giddy for the big kid slide. Her laugh is infectious. Whenever she gets the giggles, you can bet M and I get them too She is amazing. Hearing her learn new words practically every day and watching her copy things we do gets me every time. We're starting to catch ourselves and realize we really need to watch what we do because L is watching every move we make, even when we think she isn't.

I guess what I mean is that life is amazing and family is amazing. I don't always remember that but it's true. I feel so completely blessed and honored to be their wife and mom. So blessed.