BEING A MAMA

                                                                             Source: etsy.com via kristy on Pinterest

Being a mama is SO many things, all wrapped together.

Most days I curse the toys I trip over 45 billion times. Most days I'd like to pull my hair out and throw massive tantrums like my toddler. Most days I wonder how to get through to the next day. We have some great days, don't get me wrong. But these days, I'm a mama to a toddler. And it's my first time. And I'm still learning.

The ornery ones are turning into the terrible twos and the tantrums and attitudes are coming at me left and right. But that's normal. She's just a kid.

But yes, I do feel like I'm going crazy most days. Including parts of today.

Tonight was different though. As I was trudging through the chore of cleaning up after dinner and doing a quick pick up, my eyes landed on L's teeny tiny crocks laying hazhadarly under the table. She must have kicked them off during dinner. Without really thinking, I grabbed them and layed them on top of her toddler-sized ladybug bookbag and stacked them both in the chair.

Then it hit me. How lucky am I to be able to have these teeny tiny crocs and bookbag to stack? How lucky am I to have blocks and toys and crayons strewn about the house? How lucky am I to find my new scented wax blocks in Lia's play kitchen. Very lucky. Maybe even the luckiest person in the world.

I was handpicked for this job. The job of being Lia's mommy. The job of handling every thing the world has to throw at us. Me. How amazing is that?

Even though some days I really just want to be lazy and not have a toddler screaming at me every 5 minutes. And maybe some days I have a really strong urge to throw away every last.single.toy in this house, I never will. Because I am lucky to be here. To have her.

To hear the pitter-patter of her footsteps across the hall. To be on the recieving end of her kisses. To see her smile. To be the one she calls mama. To spend every second of every day with her.

Being a mama is such an amazing blessing. Nothing worth having is easy, right?

So tonight, I breath deep and try to stay calm. Tonight, I lather my kid in kisses and tell her I love her over and over before I tuck her in. Tonight, I appreciate every last thing about being a mom. Because I am not promised every night with her. I will relish in every night I do have.