TODAY

Today...

I didn't pick up the scattered mess of toys all around the house.

I didn't continue with my good laundry streak.

I didn't pick up the mess from lunch or wash the dishes piled up in the sink.

I didn't get up, get out and get things done.

Today, I was disappointed. For a few hours earlier, I wasn't sure if I wanted to curl up and have a good cry or say "to hell with the world". I was annoyed. My brain was just so full.

Today, I felt like sitting down and getting real for a minute. Because a lot of people I know (in real life) read my blog it usually makes me a little more careful on what I write and share. But lately, I've been feeling like this is MY blog. And even though it started out as something different in the beginning, it's still MINE. I should have somewhere to be real and honest, about the good and not-so-good, if I need it.

So, today I made a choice.

I chose to cuddle with my daughter, watching episode after episode of Yo Gabba Gabba.

I chose to watch her closely, as she ran through the playroom, in her own world. I watched as the wheels in her brain were spinning wildly and she was just being herself.

I chose to let her drag handfuls of play kitchen toys to the sofa.

I chose to let her play with the fake toys and real granola & goldfish on the sofa. I chose to watch her make that mess. And I chose to wait until she was done to clean it up.

I chose to take a long, hot bubble bath. While losing myself in the love story of Ree and her Marlboro Man.

I chose to eat popcorn for lunch.

And in a little while, once L wakes up from her nap and we head to the store to get some cheese for dinner, I plan to choose to buy chocolate as well. Because not-so-good days and chocolate goes hand in hand in my book.

I chose to tell my daughter how beautiful she is. To tell her how much her mama loves her. And that I was sorry for getting mad and losing my patience when she wouldn't sit still so I could fix her hair.

I chose to take a different route to this day. I chose to throw plenty of good things at it. And tonight, I plan on more love story reading, peace and quiet, snuggles with my girl and watching the new "One Tree Hill" episode to top off my day. And hopefully a hug from my husband.

I choose not to get into details of why my day was what it was. Because it doesn't matter. Life disappoints you. People disappoint you. You disappoint yourself. Things happen. I know that its always okay in the end. 

This isn't some "woe is me" story. It's just an accurate account of my day and my personal attempt at clearing my head and my heart.

Why is it that we feel we have to justify or explain a post that is something other than a happy story, adorable photos or an amazing DIY craft?

So I chose to take my bad day, throw some good things at it and believe that all will eventually be well. 

How is your today looking?