This space of mine has changed and evolved over the years and I think change is around the corner again.
Life has been... well, it's been life lately. I could say it's busy or crazy or hectic or out of sorts but I'm starting to come to terms that life is always hectic and out of sorts. Dreamy days happen, routines settle in and make the madness a little less mad but in the end life is life.
For a while, I struggled with that idea. I struggled knowing that the way the past 8 months have gone was just the season of life we were in. I didn't exactly handle things well. In fact, my doctor put me on medication to help combat the symptoms of anxiety I was showing.
And I realized that in the past 8 months my mind was taken over by worry and concern and sometimes anger. I felt overwhelmed most days. So many things were going on at once and I never stopped to emotionally process anything. I started school again while M juggled work and school full time. Lia started kindergarten and I missed having my sidekick around all day. Nico figured out how to be mobile and with that came a wild little boy with what sometimes seemed like endless energy. On top of all that, Nico was hospitalized and we went through that short-lived but stressful medical ordeal.
And I never stopped. I just kept going. I kept pushing through life. I wrote papers and struggled with my classes. I packed lunches and signed permission slips and tried to be a really good school mom. I made dinner. I did laundry. I just kept going on.
Eventually it all caught up with me. Some days are still bad. I'm still learning how to not keep going because it turns out that I am pretty good at it. I'm learning how to let things go. I'm figuring out that having a problem and being open about it isn't a terrible thing.
But what does all the mean for this space? I love this space. I love having all our life at my fingertips. I started this blog to document our life. As I've changed and grown, the way I look at our life and the way I document it changes. Sometimes I am inspired by others and sometimes I have the usual envy of what seems like the perfect lives that others have.
I've been avoiding writing here. I haven't documented our lives like I've wanted to. It was just easier to push this aside in my mind and keep moving on.
I want to document more. I want to capture the moments from our life that speak to me. The ones that warm my heart and make me laugh. I want to capture the hard ones too. The ones that made our family push through and grow together. I have an idea of documenting as often as my life inspires me. There won't be weekly updates anymore and I'm pretty sure I'm done with photo projects too. I'll pop in with a snapshot I want to share and something funny one of the kids said or did and our celebrations along with what our daily lives look like.
I just want to document our life here.
