The Third Trimester

9 months! We have made it 9 months with our sweet baby girl and I'm honestly still in disbelief. The grief and anxiety post-loss (especially after multiple back-to-back losses) does strange things to your mind and it never leaves. Not a day has gone by that I haven't worried something is going to happen but we're here. Finally.

We've waited so long for our sweet Olive to join our crew. It's bittersweet that this is most likely my last pregnancy but it feels right. She feels like the last piece of the puzzle for us. I can't even put into words how grateful I am that we get to raise these three kids.

In all honestly though, this has been a rough pregnancy. It's been a super healthy pregnancy, despite a very early-on scare where I thought we had lost her, but it's been tough on my body and exhausting. It's been the opposite of my other pregnancies. From constant nausea to experiencing contractions (I never had them with Lia or Nico!), it's been a wild ride. 

There's days that I feel like I'm never going to be 100% ready for her. I think the trauma from past losses had held back a bit of excitement. It was incredibly hard to pull her room together and buy the things we needed because I felt something holding me back.

Her room is ready though! It took longer than I expected but she's got her space when she joins us. A cozy, green room for her to grow in.

The kids are counting down the days! Witnessing it through their eyes brings magic and wonder to our lives. Nico kisses my belly every day and has given her the nickname "Ollie". Lia watches me with care and has been a huge help getting her room ready!

We had two of the sweetest baby sprinkles to celebrate our girl! I think those really settled it in for us that we're bringing another babe into the world. Also, when did all the baby stuff get so stylish & amazing? 

There's tiny baby clothes to wash, a carseat to install, one more OB and ultrasound appointment, and the last of the nesting to do (I'm feeling the urge to organize all the cabinets and closets in our house!) but, we're ready any day now for her. Still keeping our fingers crossed she sticks to the scheduled c-section date, though. Balancing two full schedules for the kids while trying to nail down the logistical plans of what happens when I'm in the hospital has my eye twitching already!